(it's) over...

That's it, blog.

It's finally over. Just like that. I'm not going to talk about what seemed to be the reasons, I sworn to her I wouldn't. Not even to you, blog. Sorry about that. I'm a man of principles, although some people may think otherwise. To tell you the truth, I don't know what good it does to me, but that's how I am. After talking to her, I lied in bed for 20 + hours. I thought it'd be better never to get up again. But I did.

They say Nietzsche once said: "Never take hope off someone. That (hope) may be all he's got." (or something like that). Well, my hopes were torn. If Nietzsche was right, now I'm left with nothing. You know, I really believed it could work out. But the decision was not up to me. It never is. I feel empty inside. If I'm to keep on, I must find a purpose. Work, maybe. You see, I'm not interested in anybody else. I really thought we were going to make it. How silly of me to believe.

What am I now? I have nothing, I AM nothing. This was my last bet on finding true love. Now it's been made clear to me that true love is not for me. I'm dead inside. Today the weather is foggy. Fits me well. I can't think straight, I can't see straight.

What do I get for being a righteous man? I get my ass kicked, that's what I get. I always thought she deserved the BEST man to take care of her, to help her be who she CAN be. There came this time when it occurred to me that I could be that man. Turns out I wasn't. Not the best, not the second best, not anything.

I'm not going to fed you up by crying my heart out, blog. That's not me. It is kinda shocking, though, to see how easy things went down the drain.

Anyways, I do still love her. That's kinda obvious, isn't it? I told her many times I'd never felt like this before about a girl. Everytime the phone rang and I saw her number on the display it seemed my heart was going to jump out of my mouth. I guess loving is good after all. I'll remember all the few good moments we had together.

I have all the time in the world to do that now. Just like ghosts do. 'Cause that's what I am now.

A ghost, soon to be forgotten.

A ghost with a torn heart. If such thing is possible.

There's nothing for me out there, blog. That is to say, there's a lot, but I care about nothing. The one I care most is now out of my life. And my life's been taken away from me.

Boo!, blog.